Tuesday 23 January 2024

Maintaining Marriage, Responsibility as a Child and a Mother

 

So, what I'm writing here, based on my personal experience in my problem yes, and of course my opinion is not at all absolutely true.

Maintaining marriage, in my opinion, is a form of responsibility as a child and also as a mother. 

And not divorcing that, is not always the same connotative as a stupid and aggressive woman.

At least this is for the POV or my point of view yes.

Disclaimer first, yeah, I'm gonna have to get a good disclaimer when it comes to marriage. Because usually a lot of people auto-trigger when reading an article that is contrary to the reader's self-experience.

As I've always explained, even though this blog is about marriage and family, it's not a theory of its own. Mostly writing on this blog is my personal experience, of course taken the problems that I have experienced.

I'm writing here, to share experiences that might help inspire parents who have similar problems.

So, what I'm writing here, based on my personal experience in my problem yes, and of course my opinion is not at all absolutely true.


The story of keeping a marriage even though it doesn't seem to be harmonious 

It's been a public secret, has always made blogs and social media friends. It's been once and twice I've been pushing for self-release and automatically a lot of people know about my problems.

And so, that's what it's called, unclean writing, or I'm using 'emotion' when the Dea says shit, hahaha. It's like every piece of my writing has its own magnet for the readers, so 'how do I say it'... Sometimes the reader's reaction, exceeds my real condition.

But yes, I mean, I don't mean it, the reader thinks it's hahaha.

The point is, I've got a story of marriage preservation, where we started to lose the same direction in marriage because of the stress of life. 

At that moment, it feels like the marriage is no longer what I wanted and (mungkin juga si pak suami).

Because of the different paths, we're starting to get used to each other's day, even though it's always the same way, because... kids.

It's a very delicate language, you son of a bitch.

I mean, me and that bastard aren't in harmony anymore, especially since our second child was born. Although we've had a similar problem before, it turns out we can fix it.

I don't know, maybe it's because of the stress of life that made us, who used to want to get married, can't do it, but now we're on our own, hahaha.

In his journey until I was able to write this quietly, a lot of wounds and mental down already. And that's what's recorded on some Facebook status, and it's my blog post.

That's why a lot of friends suggest that I just get divorced, my own mental love. And I've told you many times that divorce is not based on capital.

There's a lot to be prepared for, especially if the intention of divorce makes you happy. 

In fact, divorce can't easily be done by everyone, not out of fear of widowhood. But as a form of responsibility I respond to either my parents or my children.

That's why, for the moment, though my tranquility cannot be said to have come from a healthy marriage. But I still chose to keep the wedding book, especially because my husband never talked about giving up on marriage again.

So, at least I have the capital, that whoeverins the marriage is not just me, but my husband. Even though he's gonna survive, but yeah, that's it, man. 


Why isining marriage a responsibility as a child and a mother?

Someone might be asking, is it a connection between divorce or survival in a marriage, with responsibilities as a child and a mother?

Responsibility as a child is a form of my respect for parents. This life belongs to me, but I come to this world through my parents.

What I'm doing, Ortu's got to do with it. If I succeed, I'll be happy, if I fail, I will be sad.

It's not just a thought of sacrificing myself for ortu's happiness, but I'm doing all this for my mercy to ortu, whom I haven't been able to be as happy as they have hoped for since I was a kid.

Besides, if you're divorced, then that's where, especially my mom, I'm back. Under these circumstances, you don't have enough income to support your children either. And with the usual thing, when a man divorces, it's hard for them to survive not getting married again.

His remarriage isn't a big deal, but his children's livelihoods are a problem.

Let's say the provision of God yes, but God loves our brains to think remotely about our future and our children in particular.

If that happens, then be me as a burden to my mother (kembali).

Let my mother-in-law bear the burden of her heart, let her help finance me and my children.

Oh, my God, imagine I can't, because I've disappointed them once, by being an unreliable child after marriage. I'm not gonna add any more burdens to my mother.

And my thoughts are not just pessimistic. There are so many examples that happen in society. Where when a girl gets divorced, she's forced to go home to her orphanage, and she doesn't have to do the same thing because it's a burden on her.

It's not a bad thing, but, moreover, we've been burdening them too much. It's time for her to enjoy her old age well and calmly.

In addition to preserving the good name and tranquillity of Ortu's old days, I also want to prove that all the decisions on freedom that Ortu gave me are accountable.

I mean, my ortu is the type who gives his son the utmost freedom to decide his own future.

I'm free to decide who I want to marry, from which tribe, what religion. And I chose my husband without coercion from anyone.


How is it possible that, after all the freedom and freedom that ortu gave me, I ended up giving up on my own decisions, let alone the hardships that burdened ortu in his old days? 

That's why, for me, preserving marriage is a form of my responsibility as a child to a parent. And regaining happiness in marriage is the goal that I have to, God bless me if God still extends my age and my brother-in-law. 


The other thing is my responsibility as a mother, so that my children have a chance to go to school and live well. In current circumstances, the cost of living for children is still heavily dependent on the papacy. 

My earnings as a blogger who hasn't maximized because of his time spent dealing with children all the time, of course, are still far from enough to fund them.

Depending on the papal livelihoods, the children can live peacefully with me. Still can I handle any time, I'm anter pick up, their girlfriend any time.

They can still go to a good school, get a lot of chances, because there's money support from the pope. If I were to pay for them, the kids't be able to feel what they're feeling right now.

They probably won't be able to spend all the time with her mom, because she's gonna be working harder and there's no more time to be with them at all times.

No.

For me, the phrase 'child needs a happy mother' doesn't always mean that the mother has to get divorced. How can a child be happy, if before he had little time with his father, and now he has no time with them.

Surviving in the present condition, is a form of my love and responsibility as a mother to the children. I'm not gonna ruin the happiness and the opportunity they get just because they're not.


Maintaining a marriage doesn't always mean life is tormented

Then, how long will it last in pain, Well,ining that marriage doesn't always mean life's going to be tormented. At least for me. I don't want my life to be tortured, I'm sure I'll fight against it, so I can't be tormented, hehehe. 

Meaning to fight here is to find a way out. Yeah. If it doesn't or maybe it's not the way, then there's definitely another way, which is to restore a happy marriage as it used to be.

It's really hard, because it requires cooperation on both sides.

But, it doesn't mean you can't, do you? 

Yes, yes, it's a choice of two, whether to survive or divorce, divorce is not my choice, at least for now because I can't afford my own children. And I don't want to burden my mom with divorce, and sacrifice my children.

Therefore, the choice to choose is to survive, but the obligation to be happy is, then that's what's going to be my target.

I'm sure, God hates divorce, even if it's legal. Surely God will merit my intention to maintain and regain happiness in it.

If God is willing, God has a way. One of the most possible things to do is to focus on yourself.

It's not about being selfish, yes, it's about avoiding expectations that make our hearts tough on our own. Besides, transforming yourself into a better person is much easier than changing someone who is beyond our capabilities.

At least, that's the target and the way out that can be done right now. The important thing is that the lives of the children remain guaranteed, the parents don't need me to add the burden of mind and economy back.

Of course this isn't always going smoothly, yes, there's up and down. There was a time when I lost against the angry heart with the attitude of the father's children. Nevertheless, in the hope of God, everything will continue to be fixed, for my own sake, for the sake of my children and for my father's sake, whom I left alone.


Conclusion and Closure

Nowadays, preserving marriage is often said to be a foolish thing by the blasphemy of feminism. 

In fact, not always survive in a marriage that looks less harmonious is bad. Survive means fighting to fix it.

Because preserving marriage is one of my responsibilities, as a child and a mother. That is, the responsibility to take care of the hearts and feelings of the old so as not to be stressed by the neighbors. 

And the responsibility to make sure the children still get the cost of living from their father. Which is what it might be hard for them to get if I chose a divorce and his father married again and had a new family. 

That's my opinion yeah, how about you, parents?


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